Stop Shoulding on Yourself and Celibrate Your Wins!
Are you a chronic list maker? No, I don’t think making lists is a negative. In fact, people need to do lists in one form or another as opposed to trying to keep it all in their head. No matter what, things will slip between the cracks. Organizing your life in whatever way works for you has always been a winning strategy.
Here is the rub. Most of us make way too big of a daily list and then are not superheroes and valently finish it. With this perceived failure comes the “shoulding” syndrome. We should all over ourselves for not getting the whole non possible in a single day list done in a single day. So the next day we make a new list that never gets completed as well.
I should have started earlier. I should have not let myself get distracted by TikTok. I should of, fill in the blank. Rinse and repeat.
Again I am not here to crap on your to do list. I’m here to focus on your tiny wins. Something powerful happens in your brain when you celebrate these small accomplishments.
By celebrating the completion of small tasks, your brain is stimulated to release dopamine. This happy chemical is like fertilizer, helping to root the habit of completion. You don’t have to throw a party either. It could be as simple as raising your arms and yelling “yes”. Or maybe it’s a thumbs up and big grin. It could be a gold star sticker on your list. The idea is to create that feed back loop. Your brain rewards you and in turn it becomes a habit to check those boxes.
The opposite is punishing yourself because dammit, you should have gotten it all done. I can’t wait to feel bad about myself tomorrow as well. Let me get started on the impossible list. Let the shoulding begin!
Most big goals are easier to accomplish if we break them down into small doable pieces. It's pretty much common sense. These small steps should be celebrated as well. I like to use a journal and write “win” when I complete a task.
This “win” practice is very similar to having a practice of gratitude. Many years ago I would have given you the side eye if you told me that intentional gratitude actually has a powerful positive effect on your life. Well. that was then and now I regularly write down things I’m grateful for and enjoy a flow of happy chemicals as a result.
Give it a try. This is a habit that can really have a profound impact and make you want to check those boxes more. Here is to celebrating!
